“Recounting past accomplishments often signifies a sense of lacking confidence in the present.” / “When you constantly bring back the past, you are not living the present, much less enjoying it.”
This feels so true! I find any transition period can leave me shaky -- not yet grounded in the new, still holding on to the old. You’ve described beautifully the different ways that we navigate such middle spaces.
Thank you poppy for validating my emotional experience! Life can be messy and we need a strong community for navigating through it! Glad you liked the essay!
There is so much about this Yi, that resonated with me. If this were a printed page, it'd be multi-colored with highlights. The TLDR version of my story is that I left my corporate career unexpectedly, as in, I thought I was taking a break and not permanently leaving (in effect, retiring). Although I chose not return to a career I worked so hard to build, I still wasn't prepared emotionally. In the first few years after quitting, I went through so much of what you wrote about here... and reading your words helped me reconcile my own experiences. P.S. Loved that conversation you had with your hubby about the time change! Classic! 😀
"I left my corporate career unexpectedly, as in, I thought I was taking a break and not permanently leaving (in effect, retiring). Although I chose not return to a career I worked so hard to build, I still wasn't prepared emotionally." A mirror image of my story! This is why I write on Substack, so I can be encouraged that I am not alone, that there is a community of us!
Reading your writing and the comments for your writing is pleasant and healing. You describe and analyze the retirement process so well and so truthfully, which not help yourself to adjust to the new phase of your life but also help people with similar experience to identify their signs to accept their retirement:) This one is worth reading again and again and with many phrases highlighted.
When you have your inner peace and not burdened with worldly value and validation, you are a mentally strong person. People start to get attracted to you and want to know you more and want to know why, which is in a way a validation and recognition. Just like Ms. Yang Jiang 杨绛 and you may become one as well :)
Loved your subtitle -- "be patient, it's a process." Patience is not one of my virtues! And retirement has been difficult to adjust to. Probably the best thing I've done to help myself recently was to leave LinkedIn and delete my folder of tailored resumes and cover letters and job essays from my desktop. One day I woke up and realized, wow, I am no longer interested in my former career field, and all those LinkedIn updates suddenly struck me as self-absorbed, self-promotion. What had formerly been a huge disappointment -- colleagues who no longer sought my help in networking or job seeking or polishing a proposal or providing ideas for the next big thing after I retired -- became so clearly irrelevant to my life now. I felt a little sad as I pressed "delete account," but honestly, I do not miss it even the tiniest bit now that it's gone.
I can so relate to your sentiment, about adjusting to retirement, lamenting the irrelevance, and everything about LinkedIn. I have not checked my LinkedIn for a while for the exact reason you mentioned - the self-absorbed and self-promoting messages and updates just turn me off. I have set up an email rule to direct all emails from LinkedIn to a separate folder but I have not deleted the account yet. To be honest, about a quarter of my subscribers came from the LinkedIn network. Just as I am still figuring out Substack, I am not completely done with networking yet, and LinkedIn is a networking platform. But I have moved all versions of my CV and past presentation slides and videos to a flash drive so they no longer exist in my computers or the cloud. I am taking baby steps :).
This is such a nice read, knowing one can thrive in retirement! I hope my mum is also finding her contentment in it. I can imagine for a high-achiever, retirement may require a shift. I, on the other hand, fits really well in retirement. XD I did kind of have mini-retirements in my younger days and I am looking forward for more when my children are more independent!
I am so happy to see your sister in the picture:) and I still remember her”高考SAT” score for SCM admission! Wanchun
I am so glad that you made the "virtual" connection to her through my writing! 🙂
Love this one!
Glad you love it! 🥰
“Recounting past accomplishments often signifies a sense of lacking confidence in the present.” / “When you constantly bring back the past, you are not living the present, much less enjoying it.”
This feels so true! I find any transition period can leave me shaky -- not yet grounded in the new, still holding on to the old. You’ve described beautifully the different ways that we navigate such middle spaces.
Thank you poppy for validating my emotional experience! Life can be messy and we need a strong community for navigating through it! Glad you liked the essay!
Good for you! You find peace with your inner self. You’ve worked hard enough to deserve it. Your essay is beautifully written👍
Thanks Janice for reading!
There is so much about this Yi, that resonated with me. If this were a printed page, it'd be multi-colored with highlights. The TLDR version of my story is that I left my corporate career unexpectedly, as in, I thought I was taking a break and not permanently leaving (in effect, retiring). Although I chose not return to a career I worked so hard to build, I still wasn't prepared emotionally. In the first few years after quitting, I went through so much of what you wrote about here... and reading your words helped me reconcile my own experiences. P.S. Loved that conversation you had with your hubby about the time change! Classic! 😀
"I left my corporate career unexpectedly, as in, I thought I was taking a break and not permanently leaving (in effect, retiring). Although I chose not return to a career I worked so hard to build, I still wasn't prepared emotionally." A mirror image of my story! This is why I write on Substack, so I can be encouraged that I am not alone, that there is a community of us!
Adjusting to retirement is absolutely a process, and we each go through it differently. Loved reading your experience!
Likewise Judy!
Reading your writing and the comments for your writing is pleasant and healing. You describe and analyze the retirement process so well and so truthfully, which not help yourself to adjust to the new phase of your life but also help people with similar experience to identify their signs to accept their retirement:) This one is worth reading again and again and with many phrases highlighted.
When you have your inner peace and not burdened with worldly value and validation, you are a mentally strong person. People start to get attracted to you and want to know you more and want to know why, which is in a way a validation and recognition. Just like Ms. Yang Jiang 杨绛 and you may become one as well :)
Aww, thank you Aiping, for your kind words! Practice what you preach is the best way to preach :).
Loved your subtitle -- "be patient, it's a process." Patience is not one of my virtues! And retirement has been difficult to adjust to. Probably the best thing I've done to help myself recently was to leave LinkedIn and delete my folder of tailored resumes and cover letters and job essays from my desktop. One day I woke up and realized, wow, I am no longer interested in my former career field, and all those LinkedIn updates suddenly struck me as self-absorbed, self-promotion. What had formerly been a huge disappointment -- colleagues who no longer sought my help in networking or job seeking or polishing a proposal or providing ideas for the next big thing after I retired -- became so clearly irrelevant to my life now. I felt a little sad as I pressed "delete account," but honestly, I do not miss it even the tiniest bit now that it's gone.
I can so relate to your sentiment, about adjusting to retirement, lamenting the irrelevance, and everything about LinkedIn. I have not checked my LinkedIn for a while for the exact reason you mentioned - the self-absorbed and self-promoting messages and updates just turn me off. I have set up an email rule to direct all emails from LinkedIn to a separate folder but I have not deleted the account yet. To be honest, about a quarter of my subscribers came from the LinkedIn network. Just as I am still figuring out Substack, I am not completely done with networking yet, and LinkedIn is a networking platform. But I have moved all versions of my CV and past presentation slides and videos to a flash drive so they no longer exist in my computers or the cloud. I am taking baby steps :).
This is such a nice read, knowing one can thrive in retirement! I hope my mum is also finding her contentment in it. I can imagine for a high-achiever, retirement may require a shift. I, on the other hand, fits really well in retirement. XD I did kind of have mini-retirements in my younger days and I am looking forward for more when my children are more independent!
Thanks, Rachel! Retirement means different things to different people, and we thrive in our own ways. Enjoy the time with your kids! 💕