I read this essay with great interest. Thank you for illuminating this contentious identity issue with such clarity. I especially appreciate the comparison of the term Chinese American with or without hyphen. I'm curious what you told your friend in the end, as well as how your son changed his view of his own identity.
Dear Louisa, I told my neighbor exactly like I shared in my essay - that although I came to the States at age 23 and China is forever my birth country, Chinese my mother tongue, I am an American and this is my country. I hope my message got through to her :).
Hi Yi, thank you for sharing. I hope that your message did get through to your neighbor. BTW, I got my citizenship a year after you got yours. But I haven't lived in the U.S. in a continuous long stretch as you have, so for me, my sense of identity is a little complex.
I have lived many more years in the States than in China Louisa. I would very much like to have a project with fellow first-generation immigrants on this topic of "identity" and belonging ... It is complex, intricate, and depends on where you are standing, either talked too much or not enough ;).
This was a great post. I loved how it ended with harmony restored, thanks to your reaching out to your neighbour. I think identities are multiple, though those of us brought up in racially homogeneous, monolingual places (eg my part of England) might struggle with that at first. Thank you for your typically thoughtful reflection on this topic!
Thanks Jeffrey! I agree with you in that identities are multiple, and I think it is that multiplicity (or, lack of understanding of that multiplicity) that is the root cause of the problem.
I can relate to what you said. I get frustrated when people persistently inquire about my origin when I’m on the road traveling, especially when my children, born in the U.S. and speak perfect English, face such questions. I’m okay with it most of the time, maybe they are just curious but sometimes I can sense the tone and curiosity is out of ordinary manner, it implies the messages that they are the original residents/ppl here and we are outsiders. In reality, my years as a U.S. citizen far exceed the time I spent as a Chinese citizen and my children were born here. It raises the thought-provoking question: who are considered the original people in this land? Besides native Americans/Indians, aren’t we all American with varying lengths of immigration history?
Janice, you raised some very good questions. I would love to say I have found answers, but I have not. I would love to say home is where I am, but there are times I feel "rootless". But I do know that we need to define our identity and believe in it, before we can expect others to follow.
I wholeheartedly agree with your perspective, Yi. Understanding the various reasons for feeling rootless is an eye-opening journey into our own identity values, an essential step in achieving self-acceptance.
"Chinese American, or Chinese-American, felt to me like an oxymoron." You're right there! And we Malaysians use it for everyone that is not the majority, we have Chinese Malaysian, Indian Malaysian and so on. I used these terms myself, but not without being self conscious.
Thanks for commenting and also subscribing! I just read your essay (and subscribed.) I so hear you Rachel! In today’s increasingly diverse world, I still believe people like us are still a “special minority” in that our heritage and nationality are such a complicated matter that it requires a lengthy essay (or two, or more) to clarify! lol But thanks to Substack, I feel so seen and heard and not alone!
I read this essay with great interest. Thank you for illuminating this contentious identity issue with such clarity. I especially appreciate the comparison of the term Chinese American with or without hyphen. I'm curious what you told your friend in the end, as well as how your son changed his view of his own identity.
Dear Louisa, I told my neighbor exactly like I shared in my essay - that although I came to the States at age 23 and China is forever my birth country, Chinese my mother tongue, I am an American and this is my country. I hope my message got through to her :).
Hi Yi, thank you for sharing. I hope that your message did get through to your neighbor. BTW, I got my citizenship a year after you got yours. But I haven't lived in the U.S. in a continuous long stretch as you have, so for me, my sense of identity is a little complex.
I have lived many more years in the States than in China Louisa. I would very much like to have a project with fellow first-generation immigrants on this topic of "identity" and belonging ... It is complex, intricate, and depends on where you are standing, either talked too much or not enough ;).
That sounds like a really interesting topic to explore. Count me in if you start such a project.
This was a great post. I loved how it ended with harmony restored, thanks to your reaching out to your neighbour. I think identities are multiple, though those of us brought up in racially homogeneous, monolingual places (eg my part of England) might struggle with that at first. Thank you for your typically thoughtful reflection on this topic!
Thanks Jeffrey! I agree with you in that identities are multiple, and I think it is that multiplicity (or, lack of understanding of that multiplicity) that is the root cause of the problem.
I can relate to what you said. I get frustrated when people persistently inquire about my origin when I’m on the road traveling, especially when my children, born in the U.S. and speak perfect English, face such questions. I’m okay with it most of the time, maybe they are just curious but sometimes I can sense the tone and curiosity is out of ordinary manner, it implies the messages that they are the original residents/ppl here and we are outsiders. In reality, my years as a U.S. citizen far exceed the time I spent as a Chinese citizen and my children were born here. It raises the thought-provoking question: who are considered the original people in this land? Besides native Americans/Indians, aren’t we all American with varying lengths of immigration history?
Janice, you raised some very good questions. I would love to say I have found answers, but I have not. I would love to say home is where I am, but there are times I feel "rootless". But I do know that we need to define our identity and believe in it, before we can expect others to follow.
I wholeheartedly agree with your perspective, Yi. Understanding the various reasons for feeling rootless is an eye-opening journey into our own identity values, an essential step in achieving self-acceptance.
And many of us are taking that journey together, helping each other along the way.
"Chinese American, or Chinese-American, felt to me like an oxymoron." You're right there! And we Malaysians use it for everyone that is not the majority, we have Chinese Malaysian, Indian Malaysian and so on. I used these terms myself, but not without being self conscious.
It's nice that you feel American in America, I couldn't even say the same with conviction for Malaysia, where I was born and have lived for 30 years! I wrote a piece here ruminating on this - https://open.substack.com/pub/rachelooi/p/should-you-ask-me-where-i-am-from?r=3e7vn&utm_medium=ios
Thanks for commenting and also subscribing! I just read your essay (and subscribed.) I so hear you Rachel! In today’s increasingly diverse world, I still believe people like us are still a “special minority” in that our heritage and nationality are such a complicated matter that it requires a lengthy essay (or two, or more) to clarify! lol But thanks to Substack, I feel so seen and heard and not alone!