Thank you for the reflection and for sharing it. I most heartily agree with your view on "Productivity." I resented time-stealing meetings as a professional, and as a business leader I did my best to minimize them. I was largely unsuccessful...
Pardon this observation, though. During the period of my upbringing in rural America, we were proud of our work ethic. When you tend crops and animals for a living, there is no forgiveness for delay or preferences. Those tasks take priority over everything. There is no boundary, and families make it work out of necessity. My reflection is that there is something extremely healthy about this.
Fortunately or unfortunately, I brought that attitude to my adult work, and I was proud to be surrounded by like-thinking people - both male and female. This was easy, given where I live. "Responsive?" Absolutely. "Work Life Balance?" Never heard of it. Joy in good work was a necessary part of having a healthy life. (I acknowledge that as a man, I may not totally comprehend the unique challenges for women...)
Now, after many years, I find it interesting that these people are all reasonably financially successful with strong families and great kids themselves. (The kids are now mid-career!) I love this community and I believe that these rural values are the most undersold of life-choices. Here, "pro-career" doesn't automatically mean "anti-family." In my mind's eye, it shouldn't...
Joel, thanks for your comment, and your observation. My view on these three words was mostly taken from the corporate world, especially in corporate management, not life in general.
In the rural America you described (and I believe many other places), work and life are indeed one. My mother is a musician and music has been both the love of her life and the only way to support her family, so the "work-life balance (or boundary) was a non-issue by necessity.
"Pro-career" should never automatically mean "anti-family". Unfortunately in today's urban life that is assumed and becomes by design...
An honest essay, and one filled with hard earned lessons. It sounds like you were addicted to work and want to do your very best. All of this is understandable. And it's very hard to separate work and home, especially in this day and age where you can be reached at any time. And who doesn't bring work home -- especially mentally?
I can't think of any word specifically I'd like to purge, but I'd like to complain less and have more hope. xo
No, I’ve seen plenty of my colleagues on “survival” or giving the bare minimum mode, and as I mentioned in my latest essay, some ppl go to work to kill time.
I don't know if I was "addicted to work" - I probably was... but I'd say, I legit loved my work (when I was in corporate America). Not to say it was roses every day — but on balance, I was happy and felt fulfilled and not at all killing time. (I do talk to former colleagues of mine who tell me I am a lunatic though 😂)
I also loved my job, until I didn't; I used to consider myself lucky to look forward to work when I woke up every morning, until I didn't. I am thankful for the joyful moments, just as I am thankful for the learnings.
Your words resonated with me Yi and I can relate with almost everything you said. I'm happily child-free so that made "certain" things easier or shall I say, more difficult actually. There was no obligation for me to meet - which made it easier to keep working, which made it more difficult to maintain any kind of work-life balance. A vicious cycle for sure. I totally agree with your reflections about "being productive". I quite remember that in order for me to have any kind of true productivity, I have had to come in to the office real early - like before every one else - or stay really late, as my entire days were filled with meetings. (Funnily enough, when I stepped out of that world, and my calendar was freed of those meetings, I felt completely lost initially! 😂)
I share the same feelings - for a good 10 years or so, I had no childcare obligations which made me a terribly "workaholic" boss, and for the last 4 or 5 years of my career I basically did nothing but meetings which made me miserable, and then when my calendar was finally free of obligatory meetings, I was depressed and lost!
Thank you for writing this wise reflective piece. Only someone who's gone through all that and now on the other said is able to give that full perspective!
What struck a chord in me in what your son said, on being there but not present, I think because I am constantly struggling to be mindful and present with my kids. But I want to tell you, what with all your double/triple book calendars and you still made it there for your children is very commendable, and you are a great mother! Many won't even be able to say they did that.
For me it's easier in this sense because long ago when I first started working, I decided that the corporate ladder is not for me, I have observed what it takes to go up and stay up and I knew it did not align with what I want in life. Nevertheless, I am still tethered to this corporate world a little until now, working part time, so I can see relate to all the phenomenon you're saying here, luckily for me, our corporate culture is not so keen on meetings and being "productive" but the downside is it can be frustrating as many things are not done or seemingly in a limbo. It is fascinating, the corporate, even if I feel like I'm an outsider always just visiting, watching and kind of participating for fun. :)
In this day of the internet (and all so pervasive technologies), being present has become challenging! I still struggle with it, even after retirement and my child is grown.
Krudos to you for realizing the price one has to pay to play in the corporate world and climb its ladder; and for still playing a part in that world. It takes more people like you to influence and change that culture, instead of the other way around. Keep up the good work, and, if my experiences can be of any help, feel free to reach out!
I really love these reflections especially your thoughts on finding work-life "boundaries". I've done a much better job of this in the last 7 years since my perspective on what's most important in life was reshaped by tragedy. It's really hard to be in the moment in the modern world where we're in constant contact and people use messaging apps instead of email so expect immediate responses.
A word I'd like to see eradicated from the corporate vocabulary is efficiency. It's become a pejorative for staff reduction rather than improving processes and finding ways to maximize impact and grow revenue without raising costs. Companies seem to believe they can cut their way to growth and they wind up losing their competitive advantages, their people.
Thanks, Bobby for your perspective! Efficiency, (as "Productivity" and many others), its meaning has unfortunately changed, along with the "hidden" messages it carries. Sometimes we utter these words without thoughts and don't even understand what we are trying to convey. It's time to reassess these words and our intentions behind the seemingly positive messages. It may just be what we can do to influence the Corporate culture.
In my opinion, Being responsive is part of being responsible. When I send out message, I hate it when there is no response. A mere "received" is better than silence. But I agree that being responsible is more broad in connotation and more accepted and needed in work.
I especially like your reflective summary paragraph. "Reflecting on these three words has made me realize the profound impact language can have on shaping our perspectives and beliefs, often without us even realizing it. " Language doesn't only convey message and also it carries power and impact. Just as your essay, reading it inspire me to enlarge my vocabulary and express myself in a more productive and precise way.
Interesting and important -- but I'd say, based on my own experiences as a woman in the corporate world, if you eliminate or replace those three words, you can also eliminate or replace the word "success." You're just not going to get the corner office if you are not willing to give it all, 24/7. And maybe that's fine -- we can redefine success and accept a new vision of what we're willing to sacrifice to achieve it.
Yes, we need to redefine instead of conforming, that would be the only way to change the culture. And yes, there are way more than three words we need to eliminate/replace :).
Thank you for the reflection and for sharing it. I most heartily agree with your view on "Productivity." I resented time-stealing meetings as a professional, and as a business leader I did my best to minimize them. I was largely unsuccessful...
Pardon this observation, though. During the period of my upbringing in rural America, we were proud of our work ethic. When you tend crops and animals for a living, there is no forgiveness for delay or preferences. Those tasks take priority over everything. There is no boundary, and families make it work out of necessity. My reflection is that there is something extremely healthy about this.
Fortunately or unfortunately, I brought that attitude to my adult work, and I was proud to be surrounded by like-thinking people - both male and female. This was easy, given where I live. "Responsive?" Absolutely. "Work Life Balance?" Never heard of it. Joy in good work was a necessary part of having a healthy life. (I acknowledge that as a man, I may not totally comprehend the unique challenges for women...)
Now, after many years, I find it interesting that these people are all reasonably financially successful with strong families and great kids themselves. (The kids are now mid-career!) I love this community and I believe that these rural values are the most undersold of life-choices. Here, "pro-career" doesn't automatically mean "anti-family." In my mind's eye, it shouldn't...
Joel, thanks for your comment, and your observation. My view on these three words was mostly taken from the corporate world, especially in corporate management, not life in general.
In the rural America you described (and I believe many other places), work and life are indeed one. My mother is a musician and music has been both the love of her life and the only way to support her family, so the "work-life balance (or boundary) was a non-issue by necessity.
"Pro-career" should never automatically mean "anti-family". Unfortunately in today's urban life that is assumed and becomes by design...
An honest essay, and one filled with hard earned lessons. It sounds like you were addicted to work and want to do your very best. All of this is understandable. And it's very hard to separate work and home, especially in this day and age where you can be reached at any time. And who doesn't bring work home -- especially mentally?
I can't think of any word specifically I'd like to purge, but I'd like to complain less and have more hope. xo
" It sounds like you were addicted to work and want to do your very best." Aren't most of us? :)
No, I’ve seen plenty of my colleagues on “survival” or giving the bare minimum mode, and as I mentioned in my latest essay, some ppl go to work to kill time.
I don't know if I was "addicted to work" - I probably was... but I'd say, I legit loved my work (when I was in corporate America). Not to say it was roses every day — but on balance, I was happy and felt fulfilled and not at all killing time. (I do talk to former colleagues of mine who tell me I am a lunatic though 😂)
I also loved my job, until I didn't; I used to consider myself lucky to look forward to work when I woke up every morning, until I didn't. I am thankful for the joyful moments, just as I am thankful for the learnings.
Your words resonated with me Yi and I can relate with almost everything you said. I'm happily child-free so that made "certain" things easier or shall I say, more difficult actually. There was no obligation for me to meet - which made it easier to keep working, which made it more difficult to maintain any kind of work-life balance. A vicious cycle for sure. I totally agree with your reflections about "being productive". I quite remember that in order for me to have any kind of true productivity, I have had to come in to the office real early - like before every one else - or stay really late, as my entire days were filled with meetings. (Funnily enough, when I stepped out of that world, and my calendar was freed of those meetings, I felt completely lost initially! 😂)
I share the same feelings - for a good 10 years or so, I had no childcare obligations which made me a terribly "workaholic" boss, and for the last 4 or 5 years of my career I basically did nothing but meetings which made me miserable, and then when my calendar was finally free of obligatory meetings, I was depressed and lost!
You are not alone Lou! lol
Thank you for writing this wise reflective piece. Only someone who's gone through all that and now on the other said is able to give that full perspective!
What struck a chord in me in what your son said, on being there but not present, I think because I am constantly struggling to be mindful and present with my kids. But I want to tell you, what with all your double/triple book calendars and you still made it there for your children is very commendable, and you are a great mother! Many won't even be able to say they did that.
For me it's easier in this sense because long ago when I first started working, I decided that the corporate ladder is not for me, I have observed what it takes to go up and stay up and I knew it did not align with what I want in life. Nevertheless, I am still tethered to this corporate world a little until now, working part time, so I can see relate to all the phenomenon you're saying here, luckily for me, our corporate culture is not so keen on meetings and being "productive" but the downside is it can be frustrating as many things are not done or seemingly in a limbo. It is fascinating, the corporate, even if I feel like I'm an outsider always just visiting, watching and kind of participating for fun. :)
In this day of the internet (and all so pervasive technologies), being present has become challenging! I still struggle with it, even after retirement and my child is grown.
Krudos to you for realizing the price one has to pay to play in the corporate world and climb its ladder; and for still playing a part in that world. It takes more people like you to influence and change that culture, instead of the other way around. Keep up the good work, and, if my experiences can be of any help, feel free to reach out!
I really love these reflections especially your thoughts on finding work-life "boundaries". I've done a much better job of this in the last 7 years since my perspective on what's most important in life was reshaped by tragedy. It's really hard to be in the moment in the modern world where we're in constant contact and people use messaging apps instead of email so expect immediate responses.
A word I'd like to see eradicated from the corporate vocabulary is efficiency. It's become a pejorative for staff reduction rather than improving processes and finding ways to maximize impact and grow revenue without raising costs. Companies seem to believe they can cut their way to growth and they wind up losing their competitive advantages, their people.
Thanks, Bobby for your perspective! Efficiency, (as "Productivity" and many others), its meaning has unfortunately changed, along with the "hidden" messages it carries. Sometimes we utter these words without thoughts and don't even understand what we are trying to convey. It's time to reassess these words and our intentions behind the seemingly positive messages. It may just be what we can do to influence the Corporate culture.
In my opinion, Being responsive is part of being responsible. When I send out message, I hate it when there is no response. A mere "received" is better than silence. But I agree that being responsible is more broad in connotation and more accepted and needed in work.
I especially like your reflective summary paragraph. "Reflecting on these three words has made me realize the profound impact language can have on shaping our perspectives and beliefs, often without us even realizing it. " Language doesn't only convey message and also it carries power and impact. Just as your essay, reading it inspire me to enlarge my vocabulary and express myself in a more productive and precise way.
Value-rich, thoughtful, and real post, Yi! Many thanks for writing and sharing your experience!!! It truly does matter the words we use and stress.
Carlos Pignataro
Thanks, Carlos!
Too often, we speak without thinking about our intentions.
Hope you are doing well my friend!
Interesting and important -- but I'd say, based on my own experiences as a woman in the corporate world, if you eliminate or replace those three words, you can also eliminate or replace the word "success." You're just not going to get the corner office if you are not willing to give it all, 24/7. And maybe that's fine -- we can redefine success and accept a new vision of what we're willing to sacrifice to achieve it.
Yes, we need to redefine instead of conforming, that would be the only way to change the culture. And yes, there are way more than three words we need to eliminate/replace :).