This was such an engaging post, Yi! I really enjoyed it.
I'm not sure I ever had a dream to be anything in particular. I don't remember any particualar ambitions. Here in Japan, it's common for elementary students to be asked what they want to be when they grow up. But in my tiny country school in Devon, Engand, I don't think the topic ever came up. Perhaps they thought we'd all simply work on farms...?
Jeffery, not having dreams doesn't mean not having ambitions, and having a dream doesn't mean it should be chased after at all costs! 😊
On the other hand, I wouldn't tell college graduates to just simply "Follow your dreams"—not until they learn about living life a bit more—let alone talking to elementary students about dreams 😅!
Working on farms is not a bad idea at all! In fact, that's the exact dream of many ancient Chinese scholars, generals, philosophers, and even a few emperors! 😄
It’s not too late to become a meteorologist. Actually, I would love to become a meteorologist. I watch the weather from our deck. More times than not I can predict what is coming just from feeling the pressure change in my ears and seeing the cloud formations. Am I too lazy to start a second career?
I've dreamed of becoming a travel writer for Lonely Planet, a film critic, and an editor for a publishing house. Now that I write things on Subtack, I feel like I am somehow just living a different version of that dream!
I am with you, Yi: we will have many dreams as opportunities arise and we gain more information about others. Also, our lives and careers are so multidisciplinary (humanities, STEM, management, etc.), I kind of feel like I am doing a little bit of all of them with a common thread of helping/teaching/encouraging others, doing important work, reading and writing and translating.
Separately, the "follow your passion" never did anything for me. It felt self-centered. Now tell me to go where there is need (career-wise or mission-wise), and I am there! :) Thank you.
I enjoyed reading about your dreams and your son's, and how life took you to a different path than what you imagined. What a wonderful feeling that you feel all of your dreams have a chance of being fulfilled.
By contrast, I feel like such a loser, never fulfilling any of my dreams and now just feeling hopeless about the future.
Dear Louisa, thanks for reading about my dreams. I dreamed a lot, not all could be fulfilled and what I fulfilled I enjoyed, whether they were my dreams or not. Life has its own ways, doesn’t it?
I am sorry about how you feel right now, and no, you are not a loser. Looking back, I am sure you can find a list of accomplishments. Big or small, they might not have been what you dreamed about, they are accomplishments nevertheless and they are worth celebrating. You are worth celebrating! ❤️
Thank you for your strong dose of positivity and encouragement! I realized that I've stopped dreaming wildly as I used to, because of life's repeated disappointments. I try to keep my dreams small so I won't hurt as much. On certain issues I down right gave up dreaming to protect my heart. Most importantly I gave up the so-called American Dream. I believe a small proportion of the population can live that dream but most don't. Its better not to be sucked into its illusion. I may sound cynical but until I get a "lucky break," I don't think I would engage in too much dreaming.
This world and life is full of hurt and disappointment 💔. All the more reason to look for beauty, love, and grace, no matter how small; and to keep dreaming, no matter how wild it seems as long as it nurtures and consoles our heart ♥️.
As for the so-called "American Dream", I am with you, I have been suspecting it was an illusion (in the best case) created first by colonialism and then capitalism. I have also been thinking of renaming the "American Dream" subsection of my newsletter to maybe just simply "Dreams", or at least put double quotes around it lol.
Yes, I think it's a gentler way to reframe "dreams" as moments of unexpected delight or, as you put it, beauty, love and grace. I have, for better or worse, learned to lower my expectations in order to soften the landing of disappointments, and it helps in my case.
"American Dream" with quotation marks can be an interesting subject matter to expand on. To a certain extend, you have achieved the American Dream--I'm speaking from the perspective of a fellow first-gen immigrant and a "loser" with nothing much to show for all my efforts. To me, having a house, a family, and a long corporate leadership career (though there were many disillusions that I'm aware of) are what many first-gens would have wished for (certainly something my mom has dreamed of all her life but disappointed that I couldn't give these to her!).
To follow a dream or no, and when? All questions we learn throughout life. Hard to imagine a college graduate would have what it takes to know the answers :).
Beautiful, as always. I love the idea of a "graduation" ceremony instead of retirement, and some of my friends and clients are already doing this. Another culture-wide shift I'd like to see is an understanding that menopause is not a "chronic aging disease" but an upgrade in the brian, as outlined in this book: https://www.amazon.com/Upgrade-Female-Remakes-Itself-Second/dp/0525577173
I used to dream of flying, then of being a traveler, a businesswoman, and, at some point, a chef or owning a restaurant.
Like many Asians, I also chose the sensible path of studying something that would ensure money-earning. I compromised by studying business information systems, believing someday I'd be an entrepreneur. Now, I'm still working for someone else in tech.
Sometimes, I wonder if I should have thrown caution into the wind and pursued my dreams, however non-sensible they were. We are only young and carefree once.
Then again, every time I easily got a well-earning job in tech whenever I needed it, I can only be thankful for this safety net.
Now, I'm exploring leadership at work, something I've never thought I wanted to do until now. It is interesting, and I love learning and personal growth, so it satisfies me.
Meanwhile, I continue to pursue my passion for writing...
Life has a way of giving us what we need (not necessarily what we *think* we need lol), doesn’t it? And we Asians have a way of being very practical 😅 but I have to say that practicality pays off most if not all the time.
No matter what you do, never stop dreaming! Sometimes the joy of dreaming is all we need to set ourselves free, free from hopelessness and misery.
We can always be young at heart and carefree in spirit! ❤️
This was fantastic. I like how you disclose the "it's complicated" part vs. a buttoned up clear, one-sided view.
I wonder for his son: has he ever thought about doing music on the side, even if he's never touring?
I have a friend, a PhD chemist, who at 40 is still a drummer in a band doing maybe 1-2 gigs a month. He may make $50 from each gig, but I think it's where his purest passion lies, so he gets to engage it from time to time (maybe not satiate it fully though).
Haha, you got it Rick - life is too complicated to have a buttoned up and one-sided view! 😊
Thanks for sharing your friend’s story. I also have a friend, who is a very accomplished physician, and a fine concert pianist. So yes, you can make a living and have a creative passion on the side. Though I suspect there are certain conditions that both your friend and mine met which enabled them to enjoy life they way they do, and I’d go out on a limb to say that having talent (in both their professions and “hobbies”), wisdom (knowing when and what not to give up), and the ability to draw boundaries are some of the key factors. As for my son, and most who work in the startup world, boundaries between work and life are nonexistent.
Like you, I had many dreams. One of them was to be the first female US president. Oh, the audacity! Things do have a way of taking down some interesting paths though ~ even if it's not what we envisioned, and that's okay, too.
One of the reasons why I love to read is I get to be all these amazing characters ... and that's a kind of dream come true. xo
I wanted to be a geologist when I was younger. Now I just collect rocks.😊
Well, Mary, that says something about living your dream! 😊
This was such an engaging post, Yi! I really enjoyed it.
I'm not sure I ever had a dream to be anything in particular. I don't remember any particualar ambitions. Here in Japan, it's common for elementary students to be asked what they want to be when they grow up. But in my tiny country school in Devon, Engand, I don't think the topic ever came up. Perhaps they thought we'd all simply work on farms...?
Jeffery, not having dreams doesn't mean not having ambitions, and having a dream doesn't mean it should be chased after at all costs! 😊
On the other hand, I wouldn't tell college graduates to just simply "Follow your dreams"—not until they learn about living life a bit more—let alone talking to elementary students about dreams 😅!
Working on farms is not a bad idea at all! In fact, that's the exact dream of many ancient Chinese scholars, generals, philosophers, and even a few emperors! 😄
And for much of human history, the majority of people would have worked in agriculture by default.
And humanity depends on it!
Indeed!
It’s not too late to become a meteorologist. Actually, I would love to become a meteorologist. I watch the weather from our deck. More times than not I can predict what is coming just from feeling the pressure change in my ears and seeing the cloud formations. Am I too lazy to start a second career?
No, Karen! You are not too lazy for anything! Hey if you start your own weather forecast service, I might just be the first to subscribe! 😄
I enjoyed reading this, Yi Xue.
Thanks, Susan!
I've dreamed of becoming a travel writer for Lonely Planet, a film critic, and an editor for a publishing house. Now that I write things on Subtack, I feel like I am somehow just living a different version of that dream!
You absolutely are living a version of your dream!
“ We should hold an annual graduation ceremony at every workplace” - especially for those who have spent 10+ years shaping their organization..
I wanted to be associated with sports.. then movies etc.. which I still keep dreaming about..
Keep these dreams alive! Soon, you will be at a life stage that is the best time to make them real :).
Thanks for writing this Yi. Invoked a lot of past memories and made me smile. So very true and so very under appreciated, this part of life.
Hi John! I am glad my journey through "dreams" made you smile! :)
Yes, this part of our lives is usually underappreciated, while many forms of "common wisdom" are overrated.
I am with you, Yi: we will have many dreams as opportunities arise and we gain more information about others. Also, our lives and careers are so multidisciplinary (humanities, STEM, management, etc.), I kind of feel like I am doing a little bit of all of them with a common thread of helping/teaching/encouraging others, doing important work, reading and writing and translating.
Separately, the "follow your passion" never did anything for me. It felt self-centered. Now tell me to go where there is need (career-wise or mission-wise), and I am there! :) Thank you.
Thank you! I am with you in creating values needed by humanity, that's the most satisfying experience, dream or not.
And I am also with you that some of the "cookie cutter" catchphrases need rework! :-)
I enjoyed reading about your dreams and your son's, and how life took you to a different path than what you imagined. What a wonderful feeling that you feel all of your dreams have a chance of being fulfilled.
By contrast, I feel like such a loser, never fulfilling any of my dreams and now just feeling hopeless about the future.
Dear Louisa, thanks for reading about my dreams. I dreamed a lot, not all could be fulfilled and what I fulfilled I enjoyed, whether they were my dreams or not. Life has its own ways, doesn’t it?
I am sorry about how you feel right now, and no, you are not a loser. Looking back, I am sure you can find a list of accomplishments. Big or small, they might not have been what you dreamed about, they are accomplishments nevertheless and they are worth celebrating. You are worth celebrating! ❤️
Thank you for your strong dose of positivity and encouragement! I realized that I've stopped dreaming wildly as I used to, because of life's repeated disappointments. I try to keep my dreams small so I won't hurt as much. On certain issues I down right gave up dreaming to protect my heart. Most importantly I gave up the so-called American Dream. I believe a small proportion of the population can live that dream but most don't. Its better not to be sucked into its illusion. I may sound cynical but until I get a "lucky break," I don't think I would engage in too much dreaming.
This world and life is full of hurt and disappointment 💔. All the more reason to look for beauty, love, and grace, no matter how small; and to keep dreaming, no matter how wild it seems as long as it nurtures and consoles our heart ♥️.
As for the so-called "American Dream", I am with you, I have been suspecting it was an illusion (in the best case) created first by colonialism and then capitalism. I have also been thinking of renaming the "American Dream" subsection of my newsletter to maybe just simply "Dreams", or at least put double quotes around it lol.
Take care, sister!
Yes, I think it's a gentler way to reframe "dreams" as moments of unexpected delight or, as you put it, beauty, love and grace. I have, for better or worse, learned to lower my expectations in order to soften the landing of disappointments, and it helps in my case.
"American Dream" with quotation marks can be an interesting subject matter to expand on. To a certain extend, you have achieved the American Dream--I'm speaking from the perspective of a fellow first-gen immigrant and a "loser" with nothing much to show for all my efforts. To me, having a house, a family, and a long corporate leadership career (though there were many disillusions that I'm aware of) are what many first-gens would have wished for (certainly something my mom has dreamed of all her life but disappointed that I couldn't give these to her!).
Yeah I bet all of us first generation immigrants have a lot to say about this illusion called "American Dream".
Yea. Wouldn't it be interesting to compile a book with narratives by first-gens about their different versions of the "American Dream"?
BTW, I also dreamed of becoming a ballerina -- in my 30s! And I did get to perform en pointe in my 40s. 😸
So interesting and thoughtful. The dreams we had versus the dreams we lived. Which were better? Hard to say…
To follow a dream or no, and when? All questions we learn throughout life. Hard to imagine a college graduate would have what it takes to know the answers :).
Beautiful, as always. I love the idea of a "graduation" ceremony instead of retirement, and some of my friends and clients are already doing this. Another culture-wide shift I'd like to see is an understanding that menopause is not a "chronic aging disease" but an upgrade in the brian, as outlined in this book: https://www.amazon.com/Upgrade-Female-Remakes-Itself-Second/dp/0525577173
Thanks, Alicia, as always! I will check out the book!
I used to dream of flying, then of being a traveler, a businesswoman, and, at some point, a chef or owning a restaurant.
Like many Asians, I also chose the sensible path of studying something that would ensure money-earning. I compromised by studying business information systems, believing someday I'd be an entrepreneur. Now, I'm still working for someone else in tech.
Sometimes, I wonder if I should have thrown caution into the wind and pursued my dreams, however non-sensible they were. We are only young and carefree once.
Then again, every time I easily got a well-earning job in tech whenever I needed it, I can only be thankful for this safety net.
Now, I'm exploring leadership at work, something I've never thought I wanted to do until now. It is interesting, and I love learning and personal growth, so it satisfies me.
Meanwhile, I continue to pursue my passion for writing...
Life has a way of giving us what we need (not necessarily what we *think* we need lol), doesn’t it? And we Asians have a way of being very practical 😅 but I have to say that practicality pays off most if not all the time.
No matter what you do, never stop dreaming! Sometimes the joy of dreaming is all we need to set ourselves free, free from hopelessness and misery.
We can always be young at heart and carefree in spirit! ❤️
This was fantastic. I like how you disclose the "it's complicated" part vs. a buttoned up clear, one-sided view.
I wonder for his son: has he ever thought about doing music on the side, even if he's never touring?
I have a friend, a PhD chemist, who at 40 is still a drummer in a band doing maybe 1-2 gigs a month. He may make $50 from each gig, but I think it's where his purest passion lies, so he gets to engage it from time to time (maybe not satiate it fully though).
Haha, you got it Rick - life is too complicated to have a buttoned up and one-sided view! 😊
Thanks for sharing your friend’s story. I also have a friend, who is a very accomplished physician, and a fine concert pianist. So yes, you can make a living and have a creative passion on the side. Though I suspect there are certain conditions that both your friend and mine met which enabled them to enjoy life they way they do, and I’d go out on a limb to say that having talent (in both their professions and “hobbies”), wisdom (knowing when and what not to give up), and the ability to draw boundaries are some of the key factors. As for my son, and most who work in the startup world, boundaries between work and life are nonexistent.
Like you, I had many dreams. One of them was to be the first female US president. Oh, the audacity! Things do have a way of taking down some interesting paths though ~ even if it's not what we envisioned, and that's okay, too.
One of the reasons why I love to read is I get to be all these amazing characters ... and that's a kind of dream come true. xo