It's Time To Do What I Want - a wishful thinking
Let's Talk About RETIREMENT
When I was contemplating taking a plunge into retirement, I had a “pros and cons” list about being retired. A physical list written by hand on a piece of paper. That piece of paper had been replaced several times when the list kept getting revised. What occupied the top spot on the “Pros” side of the list was never changed: Being able to do things I want to do, not have to do.
What I did not write down, was exactly what I wanted to do. There were too many. There still are.
There are the things I used to enjoy but gave up on because of the have-to-dos, things that would require more use of the right hemisphere of my brain. I want to pick up reading again - not the technical white papers or analyst reports from the "Big Three” consulting firms, but literacy works; I want to play piano again - maybe even perform again; I want to be able to take photos like the two “pros” in my family - not just photos tagged with #iphonephotography; I want to learn another language - Italian would be the first choice; I want to build a greenhouse - a real vegetable garden with year-round harvest; and above all, I want to write and be a writer.
There are things I gravitate toward whenever I experience an “identity crisis”. I want to support nonprofit social enterprises because I had an awakening from the for-profit capitalism corporate culture; I want to do volunteer work because I want to be a solution to the problems that have been plaguing our society and not just another punchline; I want to be an advisor, a consultant, and a coach because I want my experiences and knowledge to help others; and above all, I want to prove to myself if not anyone else, that I still have value to give.
And then, there are the things that have always been on my should-do list but not done with the intention and commitment they deserve - to take care of myself and those I love the most, by spending time with my undivided attention.
Oh, did I mention I also want a “stress-free” life, a life with no deadlines, a life with no need to ever say “I am too busy”?
What’s on your wish list, if you care to share?
What remains a constant before and after retirement, is that I still just have 24 hours a day.
I believe I did the correct first step in writing down my wish list. What needs to be done is a necessary second step - prioritize the wish list. I may be the boss of my schedule now but I am still limited by the amount of time (and money) I have. A wish list without priority is just that, a list of wishful thinking.
So this is the "Phase Three” in Dr. Riley Moynes’s TED talk I shared in a previous post. I suppose many retirees go through the phase as I did (to some degree, I still visit this phase from time to time). That is okay because you don’t know whether you have a true passion or not, and how time (and money) consuming your passion is until you put it into action. That’s one of the advantages of retirement: you get to do things instead of dream about it.
Here are a few items on my What Retirement Means list, after 9 months of trial-and-error. Not labeling them as “pros” or “cons” is one of the learnings:
You get to do what you want to do, what you love, and what you are passionate about.
Just because you can do anything you want to do, does not mean you should do everything you want to do.
Discipline (a.k.a. time and effort commitment), structure (a.k.a. a schedule), and prioritization (a.k.a. if I can only do one, what would it be) - things you thought were so “pre-retirement” - are very much needed in your “after-retirement” life. Shocking but true.
Very few things have a “life or death” impact, so “deadline” is seldom what it means. This is true in pre-retirement life, just as it is true that commitment to an “intended timeline” is a must in post-retirement life. The difference is you are in total control of your commitment and time now, which means you don’t get to use any excuses for the failure of execution.
Life with a lot of stress is not healthy, life without any stress is not quite healthy either. Don’t try to eliminate stress, that’s not the goal.
I am interested in knowing if you have anything to add or have objections to any of the above.
Doing what you love makes time fly by so quickly. But it comes with its downside.
I am sure you have heard the saying “When you are doing things you enjoy, time flies by”. Well, so very true, and, so very frustrating. There is so much you want to do and when finally it is possible for you to do it, you discover you don’t have nearly enough time to do them all nor do them well.
Use the example of subscription (I suppose we all have a few since that’s the prevaling business model these days): I signed up for many subscriptions upon entering retirement with such enthusiasm that I was deflated to find it was impossible to keep up with them, whether on reading - the NY Times, Seattle Times, New Yorker, Substack newsletters, and the various Bestseller book lists I follow; or on listening - Apple Music, Amazon Music, Tidal, STAGE+, Audible, and Podcasts with ever-so-enticing titles; or on watching - Netflix, Hulu, Amazon Prime, Medici TV …
So I have been consolidating my subscriptions and canceling the ones I don’t utilize much. I have also started to read the “Link Roundup” newsletters from writers and publishers whose styles and values I share. Many links lead to interesting readings. Readings I probably wouldn’t have discovered on my own. I am now starting to note down sources I come across on works that touch me, make me think, put a smile on my face or tearing up. Next week’s posting will be my first Link Roundup posting, under the “Simple Pleasures” section.
Until then, have a great weekend!
Reading, writing, exercising and cooking are on my list. In reality, I have not done any of those to my satisfaction. When I cook, I'd like to read. When I read, I'd like to clean the house. I even wish I can do all the things I like simultaneously and this leads to anxiety. I have to tell myself do one thing at one time and enjoy it when you do it. I also need accept there are things I will not be able to do it as good as a pro. Either because I don't have the talent or I don't have time and strong motivation I thought I had.
This article helps me to define and think what I really want to do. Thank you!
Writing can be very impactful, keep writing ! ✍️