My post on corporate culture and its vocabulary has generated discussions both on and off Substack. Some readers reached out directly to express their similar sentiments, and some while agreeing with the overarching message of the post, pointed out the convenience of my retirement status. One reader commented that, as someone who had “been there, done that” and already exited the corporate world, my statements about setting boundaries and denouncing 24/7 responsiveness were largely irrelevant to those still climbing the corporate ladder with their eyes set on that corner office. That was a really good point, and I concur.
I am fortunate. I was able to escape the corporate culture in one piece, (almost) unscathed, and with a sound financial foundation that affords me independence and peace of mind, allowing me to contemplate unburdened by life’s necessities. I am more than fortunate; I am grateful.
I am hoping to convert my learnings—from years of stumbling around the primordial state of wisdom— into something worthy of contemplation. I’d like to believe I can shed a speck of light and provide a sliver of space, for those who are in the thick of their corporate life.
There is nothing wrong with wanting the corner office; some may say that’s a sign of ambition. But ask yourself: Is it important because it’s proof that you are worthy of it just as anyone else? Is it important because you want it, or because you have been made to believe you want it?
Life is a give-and-take. How important that corner office is to you, and what are you willing to give up in your life to have it? Can you be at peace with your decision, no matter what happens in the end?
And just what happens when you get to that office, are you taking in the view and enjoying it? Maybe you won’t even notice the view because you are too busy to pay attention, or you find out the view isn’t that great. Or maybe you have already set your eyes on something else bigger and grander.
I never thought I’d want that corner office. At least I didn’t know I had wanted it until I did not get it, just as I felt I was important to the company until I was not. That was when the fun and passion dissipated.
I was angry at first, and felt cheated. Would I be able to make peace had I marched into the corner office but with shambles—or as the Chinese would say, 一地鸡毛, “a ground full of chicken feathers”—in its wake? I am not so optimistic about the answer. When I realized what I had overestimated—my importance to others—and what I had underestimated—the importance of having time and space for myself, I made peace.
I saw a Chinese dubbed version of the 1978 movie “Death on the Nile” while I was still living in China. It was many years ago, but the closing quote by the detective Poirot left me with a lasting impression: “The great ambition of women is to inspire love.” (I liked its Chinese script better, which can be translated back to English, literally as “A woman’s greatest desire is to be loved.”) Let’s put aside the sexist connotation for a minute. With a bit of modification, “Humankind’s greatest desire is to be admired.” is a more suitable generalization.
To feel important and needed is a common human desire. Sometimes that desire is so intense that we neglect what is closest to us and what matters most. Fortunately, it is never too early, and for many, never too late, to come to this realization. Sharing what we have learned and making it useful to others can thus be important, and inherently rewarding.
I will be starting an interview series soon, around the theme of “What would be the one piece of advice you’d give to your younger self?” The theme is fixed, but questions can be tailored to the guest’s personal experiences and circumstances. If you would like to participate, please email me (xueyi.0189@gmail.com) or send a direct message by clicking the button below.
This month’s “Strawberry Moon”, rising from the mountains outside of my family room window.
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There is something in what you did here ~ “Humankind’s greatest desire is to be admired.” I would add 'appreciated' as I believe it is a close cousin. For some, that comes in the form of the corner office, the status, the pinnacle of worldly success (and admiration). But for me, other than dreaming of the smart suits and clothes, office work was not a good fit.
I think because I don't like to sit for long periods of time. I also have a hard time being in front of a computer for a long time, too. Folks who carry their laptop everywhere including their beds, I find odd.
But office spaces are important. Cube farms can feel depressing. For me, I needed to be among my colleagues. When I was moved away from them to a corner (with a window) space, so my boss could have me closer, I HATED it. I felt trapped and watched. I needed to be social to help balance out the flatfooted tasks.