Why Do I Write?

Read Me First—Who is the writer and who is she writing for

When I arrived in the United States from China, I had no plans beyond studying in a graduate program. I had never heard of the American Dream, nor about being a first-generation immigrant. I was a 20-something happy to have realized my mother’s dream, a dream that only a very few were lucky enough to realize in the 1980’s.

30 years later, I am at a stage in my life where I finally have time and mental space to look back at the path I’ve traveled, and what I’ve learned (and relearned) along the way. Slowly, it has become clear what I want to do next: to write about the journey of my dream, of the constant shifting of my lifeview, of leaving my culture behind to assimilate in a new country.

I came from a culture with thousands of years of history, a family that has endured difficult times in faraway places. I lived through the struggles and triumphs of being an immigrant—an outsider and a minority—in a system that thrives on the hard work of those pursuing their American Dream. I carried many different identities—Chinese, American, Chinese American—yet I find myself not identifying with any of them, not completely and unequivocally anyway.

I wish my family who came before me had written down the stories of their lives; I wish I had understood what an American Dream truly entails; I wish I had realized that for an immigrant who looks and sounds (and sometimes thinks) differently than the majority, true sense of belonging is not guaranteed by hard work alone; I wish someone had explained to me that the rules written by others didn’t have to be followed unless our hearts desired to; I wish I had known all that when I was still full of passion and naivety.

So, I am here to write about these, for myself and for future generations of my family; I am here to write to connect with not only my innerself, but also those who embrace life regardless of its winding path and imperfections, who are curious and open-minded and caring despite how the conventions and rhetorics seek to define and divide us.

If you have read this far, I want to thank you for being here. Thank you for being my reader, my community.

P.S. This essay was updated on January 5th, 2026; it was originally published on March 1st, 2023.